Time to Preview the Southeast. Home of the Outkast, and I mean the good Outkast stuff, none of this "Hey Ya" white girl electric circus crap.
#1 Orlando Magic
I spend a good portion (2 days) of my honeymoon in this heezy. Disneyland was excellent, I love acting like a child. We got to get the "cast member rate" at a LaQuinta hotel, which was awesome, and it had a kingsize bed "know imma saying!!!! know imma saying"
There are some real reasons why I think they will rule. Stan VanGundy is a fatter, non-dead version of his brother. He made the Heat into a championship, when Pat "Donnie Brasco" Riley saw this happening he fired Stan, and then got a ring. So now they have a good coach, a good swingman, a great centre and some good gaurd play. and dreams really do come true in Orlando.
#2 Washington Capital Wizards
The Wiz only have one thing going against them. George Bush lives in the same city as they play. He hates black people. Do the math.
Gilbert Arenas is the most prolific scorer in the east (Sorry Bron) but he can't so it alone, and Caron Butler is just a more klingon like version of Joey Graham. There I said it!
#3 Miami Heat
I'm so over the Heat, Shaq is only going to play like 5 games, Wade will want a trade to a good team, and they have managed to sign every mediocre player in the NBA, and they have an average age of 45. Plus I know for a fact that the people that robbed toine also stole what was left of his J.
#4 Charlotte
Sean May is a embarassment to North Carolina fans, he must have been coached by Coach K seceretly, cause he seems to be more of a baby than JJ Reddick (who will be a great 3 ball shooter this year)
Also, Emeka Okafor is only good when he is on One Tree Hill.
#5 Atlanta Squaks
The best basketball player in Atlanta is Michael Vick, DONE.
-L
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2 comments:
this was so amazingly accurate that i dont have anything to add. anything i can say would only take away from the magnificence.
I saw that you dislike "hey ya" and couldn't read the rest. The lyrics are garbage but it's to catchy to hate.
Also, speaking of the Heat, why does is Shaq shooting his free throws with one hand on his hip like he's about to burst into a verse of "I'm a little tea pot"? This baffles me...
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